Honestly, right now I am in a gutter. I am lost, spiritually and I can’t find my way. But, I know that my God will pull me through this dry season and allow me to experience that drive for him again. I pray that I will be fueled with passion for him and that he will stir himself inside of me and ignite a desire to constantly seek him.
Life is a battle and sometimes you get caught in the chaos of the world and either run or simply drift away. Turn around and run to God. His arms are forever open for you. You are never too far gone. Always come back because you are always wanted, loved, adored, forgiven, desired, cared for, and so many beautiful things.
I started to drift when my life got busy and I started to stop prioritizing God, then I stopped prioritizing my time with Godly friends. Then, I began to feel that I was no longer worthy enough to be surrounded by such loving and God-seeking amazing people anymore; that I shouldn’t hang out with them. So I began to not only drift from God, but from my friends who support me and encourage me through my faith, constantly reminding me of what is important. This was the most destructive thing I could do for myself, because when I fell deeper into the thought that there is no point to believing in God, there was no one to remind me that those thoughts are the enemies and to reject that falsehood.
I slipped, I started to not feel a desire for God so then I thought there was no purpose through God, but I got back up. I prayed, and am still praying. Praying that I may experience that overwhelming amount of joy that I have felt overflowed with in the past. Praying that I may view the world in his eyes and that I may crave Him once again. I guess I need to focus on thinking about serving Him and loving for Him and living for Him and doing homework for Him and running for Him, instead of serving so I am good or loving to make others feel good or living to have a better life for myself or doing homework to learn and get good grades or to run to have fun and be fit…
Dear God, please change my heart and my perspective and my FOCUS. Help me to focus on what you want me to do. Also, please ignite the burning flame within my soul that I can’t contain and can’t control that will make me want more of you Jesus!!:) In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
So… I am clearly an unfinished work, I always will be. My faith is weak at times, and I pray that through these tough times, my faith is stronger and I won’t have as deep dry seasons. We are all in this together. Let’s chase Jesus with all our being because we were made for this fight. We are over-comers. By the strength of God, we will get through everything.
[ Fight the good fight of faith. Trust God. ]
-thought with purpose,
243 days later….
I have just stumbled upon this blog post that is in the “drafts” folder on my blog. I.e. I wrote these words sometime in May of 2016. Today is January 12, 2017. Today, I want to add on.
Now that time has passed, I have experienced more dry seasons than before. And thankfully, I was able to put to action what I learn from the difficult dry season that I wrote about in this post above. I have approached dry seasons differently. Instead of choosing to run and hide and quietly still try to seek God, I chose to run toward God. Cry out to him and dive deeper into His word and into His presence. “Often times God brings us into dry seasons to call us deeper.” It is unknown how long it may take for that passionate fire and craving for God to return, but hold on to the truth that God is faithful and is always with you.
For encouragement purposes, I am here to testify that after every period where I have felt distant from God or lacked a desire to seek him anymore, God didn’t let go of me. He continued to call my name and he eventually brought me home into His loving arms and I rejoiced in His name once again. Stay faithful because He is faithful. Never lose hope and never stop seeking God.
[You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. -Jeremiah 29:13]
-hope during dry seasons.